Deana was not having this.... she took the bucket out, shoved it into the cab driver's hand and the rest of us continued to shove the remaining bags into the trunk until it closed. I was laughing too hard to see what he actually ended up doing with his bucket. Sadly... this was not the first time we would encounter the "But I has a bucket" gesture (why do all cabs in China have buckets in their trunks?) The cabbie also tried to get us to pay toll fees, not once, but twice. Luckily we knew better and refused, and he paid the tolls and kept on driving.
We arrived at our hotel sometime that evening and decided to go out to find a place to eat for the Birthday Boy's dinner.
We found a place, but Jay was sad that they didn't offer a free birthday dessert. He was really looking forward to a mung bean cake:
In fact, he just collapsed under the weight of his sadness: 
And then he got downright surly: 
All was well when the food finally arrived, but I can't honestly tell you what any of this was. It was pretty though: 
After dinner we wandered around the area near our hotel. It was a really cool area on a lake that was lit up at night: 
The next day we went on a cruise up the Li river. It was breath-takingly beautiful landscape. 
Somehow between flying for 17 hours and walking non-stop the following day my feet had become severely swollen. I could barely get my tennis shoes on. The 4 hour cruise down the river was a godsend as I was able to sit down below and gaze out the window in air conditioning with my feet propped up. It did the trick, because the swelling had gone down considerably by the end of the day so I was able to walk again.
I also had the pleasure of watching the gloomiest, saddest tour guide in all of the world. She would fall asleep in between announcements that I assume were to point out highlights along the river. Although you really couldn't tell what she was saying because she would mumble in a very monotone voice. I have no idea how she knew when to wake up to make the announcements as she never once looked out the window to see where we were. Chances are that she just made stuff up since nobody could understand her. Once she was done, she would go about sulking and looking really put out.
Just look at what a fabulous time these people were having:
A car picked us up and then drove for about a half hour into the countryside. We then stopped at a shack on the side of the road where we were to purchase tickets and swimsuits. Sherri told us to wait there for another bus who would then take us to the caves. She also told us when we were finished, we could come back to this same shack and have them call her to call another driver to pick us back up. It was all very complicated and a little scary. So we bought our swimsuits. Deana and I had to purchase the XXXXL bikinis (I wish I were kidding) and poor Michael and Jay had to purchase really tight and revealing swim trunks. We were all very excited about our new suits!! I am going to spare you pictures of them, trust me, it's better this way.
We get picked up by a car who drives down the road and stops at another shack where 10 or so Chinese people are waiting. He yells at them in Chinese, and then tells us to get out of the car and drives off. We gathered from this exchange that he needed a bigger bus to carry all of us so we waited, hoping that he would come back.
Deana had a thermometer in her backpack which read 102 degrees in the shade, AWESOME!:
Luckily the guy came back and we all loaded into the most unsafe, rickety old bus I've ever had the pleasure to ride in. It was kind of like a roller coaster of impending death and it was awesome! It really was, I was just going with it and really enjoying the madness. Michael and I didn't actually have seats, it was just some planks of wood on top of the motor in front of a huge open window that threatened to toss me out at every bump and sharp turn: 
So after about another 20 minutes and some hairy "bridge" crossings, we finally made it to the aptly named Water Cave: 
There was some confusion as to what we could bring with us into the caves, so we didn't bring the cameras. While it was probably about 20 degrees cooler in the caves, and they were pretty cool to look at, they weren't exactly what they were billed to be. There wasn't really any place to swim, but there was a hole in the ground with some water that you could get into for about 3 minutes since we kept getting herded along by the guides. Michael and I opted not to hide behind a rock to put on our newly purchased and really awesome suits, but Deana and Jay did. You'll have to ask them if it was worth it, but I don't think we really missed out on much. Then a little further along in the cave, you could splash in the mud to have your picture taken. That was really about it.
Somehow between flying for 17 hours and walking non-stop the following day my feet had become severely swollen. I could barely get my tennis shoes on. The 4 hour cruise down the river was a godsend as I was able to sit down below and gaze out the window in air conditioning with my feet propped up. It did the trick, because the swelling had gone down considerably by the end of the day so I was able to walk again. I also had the pleasure of watching the gloomiest, saddest tour guide in all of the world. She would fall asleep in between announcements that I assume were to point out highlights along the river. Although you really couldn't tell what she was saying because she would mumble in a very monotone voice. I have no idea how she knew when to wake up to make the announcements as she never once looked out the window to see where we were. Chances are that she just made stuff up since nobody could understand her. Once she was done, she would go about sulking and looking really put out.We managed to get a super secret shot of her by pretending to take a picture of Jay
And then we actually managed to make her smile by putting paper fans in our hair: 
They offered us snake wine, none of us imbibed and I think you can see why:
They offered us snake wine, none of us imbibed and I think you can see why: When the cruise was over we ended up river in a town called Yangshou. We were totally delighted to find a girl waiting for us outside of the boat with Jay's name on a sign. Haven't you always wanted someone to hold up a sign with your name at the airport? No? Is it just us?
Sherri, the girl with the sign, gave us a couple of options on how we could spend the rest of the day as we needed to stay in Yangshou for a show later that night. We were standing on the side of the river in the sun in 100-plus degree heat with 100% humidity, so we decided to go swimming in the water caves. Ahh... the water caves, where there was promises of swimming in mineral baths, mud baths, and then natural hot springs.
Sherri, the girl with the sign, gave us a couple of options on how we could spend the rest of the day as we needed to stay in Yangshou for a show later that night. We were standing on the side of the river in the sun in 100-plus degree heat with 100% humidity, so we decided to go swimming in the water caves. Ahh... the water caves, where there was promises of swimming in mineral baths, mud baths, and then natural hot springs.Just look at what a fabulous time these people were having:
A car picked us up and then drove for about a half hour into the countryside. We then stopped at a shack on the side of the road where we were to purchase tickets and swimsuits. Sherri told us to wait there for another bus who would then take us to the caves. She also told us when we were finished, we could come back to this same shack and have them call her to call another driver to pick us back up. It was all very complicated and a little scary. So we bought our swimsuits. Deana and I had to purchase the XXXXL bikinis (I wish I were kidding) and poor Michael and Jay had to purchase really tight and revealing swim trunks. We were all very excited about our new suits!! I am going to spare you pictures of them, trust me, it's better this way.We get picked up by a car who drives down the road and stops at another shack where 10 or so Chinese people are waiting. He yells at them in Chinese, and then tells us to get out of the car and drives off. We gathered from this exchange that he needed a bigger bus to carry all of us so we waited, hoping that he would come back.
Deana had a thermometer in her backpack which read 102 degrees in the shade, AWESOME!:
Luckily the guy came back and we all loaded into the most unsafe, rickety old bus I've ever had the pleasure to ride in. It was kind of like a roller coaster of impending death and it was awesome! It really was, I was just going with it and really enjoying the madness. Michael and I didn't actually have seats, it was just some planks of wood on top of the motor in front of a huge open window that threatened to toss me out at every bump and sharp turn: Deana and Jay got seats, but apparently only Deana was excited by this:
So after about another 20 minutes and some hairy "bridge" crossings, we finally made it to the aptly named Water Cave: There was some confusion as to what we could bring with us into the caves, so we didn't bring the cameras. While it was probably about 20 degrees cooler in the caves, and they were pretty cool to look at, they weren't exactly what they were billed to be. There wasn't really any place to swim, but there was a hole in the ground with some water that you could get into for about 3 minutes since we kept getting herded along by the guides. Michael and I opted not to hide behind a rock to put on our newly purchased and really awesome suits, but Deana and Jay did. You'll have to ask them if it was worth it, but I don't think we really missed out on much. Then a little further along in the cave, you could splash in the mud to have your picture taken. That was really about it. When we were done, we took the bus back to catch another bus back to the roadside shack. As we were waiting we heard a screeching noise and all turned around in enough time to see two guys on a scooter go flying off and sail down the road. They had been hit by a truck who had swerved to miss a woman walking in the middle of the road, and the truck just kept on going. We stood there in shock for about a minute and realized that the guys on the scooter weren't getting up and traffic just kept zooming past them. Nobody stopped. There were about 10 Chinese people standing on the other side of the road and they did nothing. So Michael sprang into action and ran across the road, pulled both guys to the shoulder and even went back and pulled their scooter out of the road. At that point I realized that I had band-aids and wet wipes in my backpack so I played frogger across the road to try to offer help. They were pretty badly banged up and my band-aids didn't even begin to cover the wounds or stop the massive bleeding, but they were thankful for our help as we were the only ones that helped them. Within minutes our car had arrived and we had to leave so we don't know what happened to those guys or if they ever made it to the hospital.
After all of that excitement we were very hungry, so we asked our driver to take us to a local noodle shop. He did and it was awesome:
While we were there some local kids came in and started talking to us and asking to take their picture with us. Jay stared speaking to them in Chinese and they were very excited:
We were sad to leave our new friends, but we had to go to the show that we were there to see. It was a light show with over 600 actors on the river http://www.guilin-yangshuo-guide.com/yangshuo-light-show.html. It was produced by the same guy who produced the opening ceremony to the Beijing Olympics.
The setting was gorgeous:
And the show was really cool:
After the show, we were waiting out front of the theater for the traffic to die down a bit before our car could leave. As we were waiting we saw the kids from earlier on a bus. So we entertained them with waving enthusiasticly, blowing air-kisses, doing the wave, doing high kicks, whatever. We had the whole bus including the adults cheering for us. It was a very awesome end to a wonderfully strange day:
Next up... More Guilin adventures!
We were sad to leave our new friends, but we had to go to the show that we were there to see. It was a light show with over 600 actors on the river http://www.guilin-yangshuo-guide.com/yangshuo-light-show.html. It was produced by the same guy who produced the opening ceremony to the Beijing Olympics.The setting was gorgeous:
And the show was really cool: After the show, we were waiting out front of the theater for the traffic to die down a bit before our car could leave. As we were waiting we saw the kids from earlier on a bus. So we entertained them with waving enthusiasticly, blowing air-kisses, doing the wave, doing high kicks, whatever. We had the whole bus including the adults cheering for us. It was a very awesome end to a wonderfully strange day:
Next up... More Guilin adventures! 
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